chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
high people should be assigned attendants
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
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