I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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