This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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