stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
