Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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