Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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