Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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