Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
