i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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