I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
