his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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