Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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