someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Farmville is her only friend.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
