I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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