Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i think i just lost a toe
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
