Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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