around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
