He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
