we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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