We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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