Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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