so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wanna bring you to show and tell
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
