Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
