Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
