if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
