we're blogging at a bar
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
