that's an acceptable place to lick
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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