So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
