Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
