dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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