It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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