You're completely useless in the revolution.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
