ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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