plz talk dirty to me
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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