I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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