I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
