So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
