We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
