I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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