I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
