i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
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