I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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