Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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