Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
