Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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