I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
