You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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