pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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