i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
