I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize