Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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