He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
