apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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