My room smells like vodka and shame
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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