I will die if light touches me.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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