so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
