Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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