I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
