can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
smell my finger.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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