If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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