Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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