u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
